Cut it outHow to stop using weak language at work

Cut it outHow to stop using weak language at workCut it out- How to stop using weak language at workIt is incredibly important to be a good communicator at work. Whether you are working through a project with a large team or navigating a complicated issue at work, communication is key.Heres our question. How do you communicate at work? As women, we can tend (its not an exact science, so dont me) to use language that gives a little wiggle room- to make our coworkers feel mora comfortable or at ease. We can tend to be apologetic, selflessly accommodating, and sometimes self-effacing.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreOf course, there is a line to tow- especially as a woman.If youve listened to Flawless lately or if youre readingWe Should All Be Feminists, you might recall this Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie quote,We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. You can hav e ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful otherwise you will threaten the man.Not sure about you, but this resonated with us here at Career Contessa. When a whole society has taught you to constantly undermine your own power, how do you unlearn all of it?What we can do is take small steps. We can recognize when we use language that undermines our intelligence, our strength, and our wisdom- and replace it with language that is powerful and unwavering.Apologizing too muchThis is one we struggle with- a lot. We recently published an article by Donna Moriarty detailingwhat to do instead of saying sorrywhen an apology is 100 percent unnecessary.The habit of injecting the word sorry into every other sentence you utter might seem harmless on the surface. But it can undermine your authority and your confidence, portray you as weak and indecisive, and even damage your credibility.Sure, there are times when an apology is necessary. However, we need to pay attention to when they are wholly unnecessary so that our true apologies are meaningful. Here are some common unnecessary apologies,Sorry, can you repeat that?Im sorry, but I disagree.I have no available appointments this week. Sorry about that.Im sorry, but I have to let you go.Like most of the weaker language we may use, recognizing its happening is the first step to putting an end to the behavior. Take notenzeichen of times when you apologize for things like asking for clarification, being busy, or simply taking up space- and stop doing it.Does that make sense? or Maybe thats a stupid idea.This is something we hear (and say, ugh *facepalm*) all the time.This is something we tend to say after explaining something complex, high-level, or containing multiple steps. Usually, you have laid out an amazing plan- only to undermine it all by apologetically saying, Or I dunno, does that even make sense?Dont do this Instead of opening a line of discussion,this language createsuncerta inty and doubt. By including this uncertain question at the end of a presentation or pitch, you might also be undermining the intelligence of your captive audience. Instead of using this dubious language, try this How does that sound to you?If something remains unclear, this opens a line of communication- without questioning or belittling yourself.The just of it allJust is a filler word that does more work to undermine you than maybe any other filler word. As part of putting this powerful language idea into play, we all installed the Gmail plugin,Just Not Sorry. This particular plugin will flag language that is overly apologetic or that sabotages your message.Remember getting scolded by your mother when you were really young? Youre eight or nine years old and your mother is reaming you for being late to dinner. Remember what your comeback was? I just- , But, I just- and your mom probably cut youright off. Its because just immediately sounds like an excuse or a defense.When you use just in an email or a meeting, it might seem harmless enough. However, in reality, it immediately sets you behind the ball. Pay attention to this word. When you write an email, give it a read over and remove all justs that dont serve your message. Better yet, installthat Gmail pluginand let it do the work. You might be surprised by how much you use this sneaky little word.Im no expertFirst of all, if someone is asking you a particular question or trusting you with a set of tasks, you are likely the expert. Own it.Too often, we fall victim to that sneaky voice in our head- the one that leads you to believe you are an imposter. Shut that down ASAP. You are an expert. You aretheexpert. Dont retreat into modesty.I feel likeFeelings and emotions are not bad, so we can throw away that narrative right off the bat. However, using the phrase I feel like, before presenting a thought or idea immediately undermines whatever is going to follow.Consider replacing I feel like, with any of these ph rasesI am confident that,My research has shown that,My experience tells me that,Too much yesThere is such a thing as too much yes. While you should say yes to promising new opportunities, You dont want to yes yourself beyond your capabilities.As women, we are capable of taking on a lot without even batting an eye. Spreading ourselves too thinby saying yes to everything can lead to serious burnout. You might be saying yes too much if, at the end of the day, you have worked hard but still have a full to-do list completely untouched. Make sure to prioritize your foremost responsibilities before saying yes to helping someone else.This doesnt necessarily mean you need to replace yes with no every time. This can simply mean taking a moment to audit your responsibilities before saying yes. This means taking a beat or two- to truly weigh out what you can take on.This article originally appeared on Career Contessa.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happ yStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people